After 21 years of parenting (22 if you include the ex who was the first fledgeling to
I know it isn't right or fair, but after all of that prior practice he's the one who really took all of my parenting experience and applied it - instead of totally ignoring me and learning everything the hard way.
He always gets along with others and is careful to entertain any doggy or people guests. He never goes in his crate and plays video games leaving his guests bored and uncomfortable. He is sure to spend time with each and every guest and has no problem letting them know he loves them all.
When I walk into the house after a hard day of working to keep kibble on the table, he lavishes me with affection instead of asking if I went 20 minutes out of my way to stand in line for half an hour at Walmart and buy him a new set of headphones.
He self taught himself that vomiting on the carpet is unacceptable before he was one. That's right - my dog asks to go outside if he's gonna spew. I've had an eight year old two legged child stare at their own vomit on the carpet in total disbelief. Like you didn't know your stomach was upset? Come on, even the dog knows when he's gonna spew.
He feels no need to leave his poo on display for the next visitor to the facilities. He is always discreet about these things and uses the back yard where nobody else really goes. (Sorry neighbors, I'll get out there and clean that up as soon as it gets a little warmer.)
He never hogs the bathroom nor does he drain my hot water tank taking endless showers. If he happens to be catching a drink at that giant doggy dish and I want to use it to pee, he's more than willing to step aside. The Asshats just lock the door and pretend they can't hear me.
He never bitches about which kibble I buy, instead grateful just to have some. I'm pretty sure the Asshats have never shown half the excitement over a meal that the dog does. The dog also never stands in front of the fridge waiting for the fridge genie to magically supply whatever vague something he wants. I have never once heard the dog say There's never anything good to eat in this house!
Can anyone really blame me for having a favorite?