I'm not a glass-half full type of chick, but most of the time I'm pretty good at ignoring the glass altogether.
Except sometimes, the glass is all I can think of.
Like when I take laundry out of the dryer and find a used to be paper lint ball.
Because I'm a mom who never checks pockets, I try to unravel it to see if it's important.
I find out it's the envelope you get with a speeding ticket. Which means my newly licensed, already paying a shit ton of money for insurance, oldest Asshat got himself a fucking ticket.
How big was the fine? How fast was he going? Did he lose points?
I worry, and the glass that's half empty is waiting around the corner like the finger of doom.
Eventually, I remember he is technically an adult and this worry is his. I move on and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
This morning I woke up thinking about the Guidance Counselor I need to call back. The one I've been sort of avoiding for a couple of weeks.
She wants to talk about my youngest dropping out of the OYAP program.
I start thinking about how glad I am that he's not going into OYAP to be a chef. Because in our small rural area there are no chefs. There are only short order cooks. Who can feed a family on that?
Then I start thinking about how near he is to graduating from his vocational school. The one that hasn't prepared him for college or any career other than working in fast food. The one I fought to keep him out of, but finally had to submit to in defeat.
What is he going to do instead?
I give up on sleep and get up to take my place in the line for the bathroom.
Tomorrow I'll remember that all I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other, but today? The glass half-empty finger of doom is pointing at me again.
OYAP is the Ontario Youth Apprenticeship Program. It was designed to help steer young people who aren't college bound into the Trades. It is a program I fully support, just not so much for fields that won't ever yield a decent living.